Step 1: get your head on straight

Over the past couple of years, I've lost over 50lbs, over 40 of that in less than a year. So I get asked a lot how I did it.

I can tell folks are almost always disappointing when I tell them "diet and exercise". It's a boring explanation.

But the truth is that I would have never been able to do it without getting healthy on the inside first.

Sure. Other people lose weight  and they are still super fucked up in the head and/or are still generally unhappy people. We all know those folks. It's proof that merely getting skinny doesn't make life any better. 

A lot of those folks end up unhealthy on the outside again. Lots of them are the yo-yo dieters or the people who develop eating disorders or the people who no matter how much weight they lose, they still don't look especially great. 

So when I really talk to people about what I did, I will always mention that the first step was internal. It was getting my head and my heart straight. The first commitment I made to myself was 6 months of going to therapy. No excuse.  And not half-assing it........not going once or twice over the course of 6 months and caling it good. Not saying "Ugh, I can't afford it this week" over sips of my Starbucks mocha. Not calling and canceling because I was too tired to go. No. Six months of going. Weekly. And taking those sessions and stewing on them. Digging in to them. Getting homework from my therapist and doing it.

None of this started being about losing weight. I had accepted my weight. I was fine with it. I figured I was who I was and I should learn to love it. And I did. My bigger problems were in why I got in my marriage and why I stayed in it and the relationships I had with people and what kind of parent I was. THOSE were the things that needed fixing. Not my waistline.

But once I truly tackled those and began the hard work of fixing my  heart and soul........all of the sudden I loved myself enough to be truly good to myself. Because I realized I really was worth it.